You're only busy when it's hot

It's a guarantee that if it was cold enough for my nose hairs to freeze up from a few seconds spent outside then I wouldn't have a darn thing to do to actually keep me in the office. Where it's toasty and warm on a cold day. Throw in a cup of coffee and my bunny slippers. Oh yeah.... That was a big IF though - since it's promising to be a HOT one today and I should really have my ass stuck in a tube floating down the river with an ice cold home-made conconction in hand, then certainly I MUST BE SLAMMED! So many projects to do, so little time.

The mountain to climb for the day - Mt. Flashmore. A 'simple' Flash animation integrated into a technology web site that WON'T be annoying OR cause the site to grind to a crawl OR become so boring and repetitive after the nth viewing that the casual browser will find themselves begging for death. I realize how much I hate Flash animations on web sites and yet I get to keep cranking them out for clients that have to have them. But as the old saying goes - it's your dime Mac!

- disclaimer: my rates can usually run more than a dime. You may be looking at a few quarters - in some cases paper money might be necessary.

For all you lucky so and so's I will undoubtedly see floating by me when I'm at a client site later on today, YEAH!!! HAVE A COLD ONE FOR ME!!!

The Story of DOG

"Let he who hath understanding reckon the number of the DOG. For it is a canine number. It's number is $426.57" - from 'Tales of the Dog', 2004

I don't know that I wanted a dog.

Oh hell, I didn't want a dog and I damn well know it. Not that I don't personally like dogs - I do! I hate most dog OWNERS though and that sentiment has tended to bleed over onto the poor dogs themselves. It just so happens that if you're like me and are a registered DOG OWNER HATER, or DOHaT for short, then there is plenty to stoke your fires if you happen to reside in the quaint little unassuming high desert town of Bend, Oregon. I'm not 100% on the statistics, but I'm fairly sure that there are more dogs in Bend than rich assholes - believe me, that is one HELL OF A LOT OF DOGS! All kidding aside though (er.... yeah), the dog population in this town is so high I have actually heard people say that THEY heard that there is at least one dog for every family. It doesn't take much imagination to realize that for every barking dog in somebody's backyard and for every pile of crap not picked up in our parks and on our trails, not very many people in Bend are getting any sleep or have unsoiled shoes.

- Okay, so I don't blather on forever I'll just get to the point of the rant. DOHaTs have ample reason for their convictions. I admire and compliment people who get the point of 'owning' a dog. I don't need to describe what that IS - what it is NOT is the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to abuse the poor animal and/or ANNOY EVERYONE AROUND THEM through the failure to exercise any controls whatsoever over their dog(s). The list of grievances is loooooong.... (a great project for another time - compile the list!) All I know is that it would be nice to wake up by my alarm and not by a neighbor's dog at 5am - and is it too much to ask not to have to smell dog shit the entire 2 miles up and down the Butte?

I didn't know that I wanted a dog.

I was outvoted though and I let myself be. My son deserved the experience of having a childhood companion and a refusal would remind me far too much of what I strive NOT to be; my father. So the 'others' proceeded to seek out and bring home a dog that needed a good home. And this is where the story really begins... (in part II)

bark!, er, I mean out!

"It only happens in movies, right?"

This was a particularly unique 4th of July. No, it wasn't because the weather was actually warm or the fireworks were damn decent - it was because of the events that transpired in the bathroom of a home I had never before been in.

The day before the 4th I awoke that morning with a nice cold. Not particularly relevant but noteable as I hadn't been sick for quite awhile. Whatever. When the 4th rolled around I couldn't help but spend the day enjoying a couple of simple pleasures, namely beating the hell out of myself on the slip and slide out back and skating around the neighborhood - all good fun. The plan for the evening was set and it was this:

A brief rant first:
Bend saw an all too brief period where software and tech jobs were available for many and companies offering these jobs were being encouraged to locate here. When the economy went to shit so did most of these jobs and to this day there hasn't been any movement to replace them. Way to go BEND! As long as you keep encouraging the wealthy to move in from other states I'll never forget my place (bowing deeply to those better than me). Another sad result of this situation is that pretty much every friend I have has been forced to move all over the country to find work to support their families.  My good friend Rob moved clear across the country to Orlando, Florida, where I'm pleased to say he is again employed as an RPG programmer and thankfully hates his job as much as he did the one here in Bend. We don't want to rock the boat too much...
End of rant. 

Start of new rant:
For f**k sake - I had about three pages from this point on that were just obliterated by blogger.com timing me out before I had the opportunity to publish. I say "publish", it says "log in" I start swearing, I try and back up so I can say "publish" again, it won't let me back up but keeps displaying a login screen, I swear some more, I log in and find the last half hour of typing gone. Thanks guys, nobody gives a shit what I'm saying anyway.
End of new rant.

Fine. It was a long boring story anyway. The gist of it was that I spent the 4th, sick to my stomach, at the home of my friend Rob's wife's son's house. Never been there. Got really, really sick when everyone started burning stuff. Needed to find the bathroom - never been in their house - had seconds left - oops, no seconds left - hand over mouth, praying I took the right turn that would lead to a bathroom - it's a bathroom! shit, the toilet seat is down - BOOM! The entire room is covered in a mess I won't even attempt to describe. My only hope was to find a flame thrower below the sink. Nope, not even any cleaning supplies. I knew I would NEVER be leaving that room. Twenty minutes later a kind soul finds me some cleaning supplies and the next fifteeen minutes finds me on hands and knees scouring the walls, floor, sink, counter, toilet and god knows what else of a really nice bunch of people I don't even know. And they will NEVER know I was such a great house guest.

The bunny had a bad time that night. Poor little thing looked pretty bad covered in puke...
 

It was a beautiful day - that ultimately sucked

Dammit.

I can't believe I hadn't heard a thing. I am SO bummed out now after such a sweet day too... After talking to my sister a bit ago I found out that Rush is playing a concert in Portland - TONIGHT. Like, RIGHT NOW. Where the hell have I been?!?

...a quick search online...
...damn, she's right...
...go to rush.com...
WHAT? A NEW CD IS OUT TOO?!?!?!?

I feel disconnected people. Seriously disconnected. That will happen to a guy living in the proverbial sticks of society. Oh sure, there are 80,000+ people living here and more rich have-have's moving in every day. Without a doubt there are the sweetest outdoor experiences to be found (a reason the H-H's keep moving here for sure). And for a profound certainty, there is a disconnect between here and the moving world... places where such things as RUSH CONCERTS would be mentioned at least once on the radio or newspaper.

I am a SAD panda....

Off to strangle the bunny people. Good evening.

- ME

ps - sure, thanks to my ignorance I don't have to risk my life on any highways this fine 4th of July weekend. Phew!

The day I jumped into the wide river of conformity

To Blog, or not to Blog - that is the question (for any supposedly hip and savvy net monkey anyway). Must I bow to peer pressure? Wait, one friend asking me to read their blog once or twice wasn't quite like a gun to the head, but it's the feeling of being left 'behind' - that everyone else is doing something really cool and by the time you decide to join the fray something else really cool will have come along to replace it and you'll be that kid in school again who finally got that new pair of tennis shoes - the ones all the COOL kids wore - a week after all of the COOL kids threw theirs out for the latest footware 'upgrade'. Fine. I'm blogging dammit.

So what's up today? Worked on a few graphics projects and completed a photo shoot with one of our models. We'll call her 'P'. P has been working out, tanning and generally preparing herself to slay men everywhere with a new bod. You go girl! I'm so proud I might just shed a tear or two... It also for the three thousandth time makes me wonder where I get my clinical approach to photography. Show me a pretty girl walking down the street and I'm pulling a Mask style hound face (but it's real subtle you know - I know how to be DisCreEt) - put a camera in my hand in front of a pretty girl and I'm Dr. Serious Puss. Eh, I give what little credit I can to memories of my father at work. He had TALENT and when he was using said TALENT it was something to just sit back and watch him work. The man was in another world. Yeah, it's something like that. (and I grin to myself)

That's it. Off to find the bunny...